Postpartum Boundaries - the dos and don’ts

The early postpartum days are sacred—a blur of snuggles, tears, healing, and adjusting to your new rhythm. And while everyone is excited to meet your little one, you are the one recovering, bonding, and learning. That means boundaries aren’t just helpful—they’re essential.

Here’s your loving permission slip to protect your peace and put your needs first, with these gentle dos and don’ts of postpartum boundaries:

✅ DO: Set Visiting Hours

You wouldn’t want surprise guests during dinner on a normal day, and postpartum is definitely not a normal day. Let loved ones know ahead of time what times you’re open to visitors—and when you’re not.

✅ DO: Set Time Limits

Visits don’t need to last forever. A 30-minute drop-in is plenty when you’re bleeding, leaking, healing, and running on three hours of sleep. Be honest about what you can handle and gently share your expectations with others.

✅ DO: Communicate Clearly

People can’t honor a boundary they don’t know about. It’s okay to say, “We’re limiting visitors this week to rest and bond,” or “We’re only doing one visit a day right now.” Clarity is kindness.

✅ DO: Prioritize Your Needs

If you’re hungry, take time to eat. If you need a nap, rest. If holding your baby in peace is what fills your cup, don’t hand them over just to make someone else feel included. Your healing and your baby come first.

✅ DO: Learn to Say No

“No, not today.”
“No, we’re not up for visitors right now.”
“No, we’re keeping things quiet this weekend.”
These are full sentences. Say them with love and don’t look back.

❌ DON’T: Give in Just to Keep the Peace

This isn’t the season for compromising your wellbeing. If a visitor insists or pushes, stand firm. You’re not being rude—you’re being a good steward of your healing and your baby’s transition.

❌ DON’T: Let People Overstay Their Welcome

Have a phrase ready like, “We’re going to get some rest now—thank you so much for coming!” or “Baby’s next feeding is soon, so we’re going to settle in for the night.” A gentle cue is all it takes.

❌ DON’T: Expect People to Read Your Mind

As much as we wish people just got it, most don’t. Spell it out. Create a group text. Share your expectations kindly and early. The people who love you will appreciate the clarity.

❌ DON’T: Pretend You’re Okay When You’re Not

You don’t need to be the smiling, glowing, got-it-all-together version of yourself. If you’re overwhelmed, sad, or needing space, say so. Vulnerability opens the door to real support.

❌ DON’T: People Please

You do not owe anyone a baby-holding shift, an update, or a tour of the nursery. This is a short, precious season. Don’t spend it trying to meet everyone else’s expectations.

Boundaries aren’t barriers—they’re bridges to peace.
They help create space for rest, healing, and connection. You’re not being difficult. You’re protecting what matters most.

If you’re not sure how to share boundaries with loved ones, we wrote a helpful blog post: 7 Rules for Visiting a New Baby
It’s perfect for texting to friends or family before baby arrives (or after!) to set the tone.

We’re cheering you on in this sacred, sleepy, love-soaked season.

For more tips, explore our other blogs or follow us on Instagram at @choosejoynursing.