7 Small Things to Do When You Feel Overwhelmed as a Mom
Sometimes it is not one big thing that sends you over the edge. It is the laundry that needs folding, the baby who has been crying for 20 minutes, the dishes in the sink, the toddler asking for a snack, the text you forgot to answer, the appointment you need to schedule, and the fact that you cannot remember the last time you drank a full glass of water.
Suddenly, everything feels urgent. And when everything feels urgent, it can be hard to know where to begin.
We love a good mom hack, but sometimes the answer is not another routine, schedule, or productivity system. Sometimes what you need most is permission to slow down, simplify, and take care of yourself in the middle of the moment you are already in.
Dr. Cassidy Freitas recently shared a beautiful reminder on Instagram about seven small steps to take when you feel overwhelmed. We loved the simplicity of her suggestions and wanted to expand on them through the lens of motherhood and postpartum care.
Because feeling overwhelmed does not mean you are failing. It means you are human. And sometimes your nervous system, your body, and your heart simply need a little less to carry.
Lower the Bar
When you are overwhelmed, your normal expectations can suddenly feel impossible. The house needs to be cleaned. The laundry needs to be put away. The baby needs to eat. You need to respond to that email. Dinner needs to happen. Maybe you had plans to exercise, shower, organize the nursery, or finally tackle that pile of mail.
Take a breath. Instead of asking, “How am I going to get everything done?” ask: “What truly needs to happen today?” Try replacing your traditional to-do list with a “good enough” list.
Maybe the kitchen does not need to be spotless. Maybe the dishes simply need to make it into the dishwasher. Maybe the laundry does not need to be folded. Maybe clean clothes in a basket are perfectly acceptable for today. Maybe dinner does not need to be homemade. A sandwich, takeout, or something from the freezer counts.
Motherhood is not a test you pass by doing everything perfectly. Some days, keeping everyone fed, safe, loved, and cared for is more than enough.
Lowering the bar is not giving up. It is recognizing what matters most in this particular season and giving yourself permission to prioritize accordingly.
Move Your Body
Move in whatever way feels accessible. Stretch your arms overhead. Roll your shoulders. Step outside for a few minutes. Shake out your hands. Walk around the block with the stroller. Put on a song and sway with your baby.
Movement can give some of that built-up energy somewhere to go.
And there is something about stepping outside, even for just a few minutes, that can create a little space between you and the overwhelm.
You do not have to turn it into another thing you “should” be doing. This is not about calories, productivity, or getting a workout in. It is simply about reminding your body that it is allowed to move, breathe, and reset.
Let One Person In
When motherhood feels heavy, it can be tempting to keep it to yourself. You might think, “Everyone else seems to be handling this better than I am.” Or maybe you do not want to bother anyone. But you were never meant to carry motherhood alone.
Text a friend.
Call your mom.
Tell your husband, "Today is just a hard day."
Send someone a simple, “I am feeling really overwhelmed and didn’t want to carry it alone.” Sometimes you do not need advice. You do not need someone to tell you how to make the baby sleep, organize your house, or become a more patient mom. Sometimes you simply need someone to know.
Letting one person in takes some of the weight off your shoulders because you are no longer holding it entirely by yourself.
Reduce the Input
Sometimes the world is simply too loud.
The podcast is playing. The television is on. Your phone is buzzing. Someone is asking you a question. The baby is crying. There are dishes clattering in the kitchen. Your notifications keep popping up.
Even little things can feel like too much when your nervous system is already overwhelmed.
So, reduce the input. Turn off the podcast. Put your phone on Do Not Disturb. Dim the lights. Turn off the television. Step into a quiet room for a few minutes. Take a few slow breaths.
You do not have to consume more information when what you really need is less.
Motherhood comes with an incredible amount of input every single day. There are opinions, advice, notifications, schedules, comparison, noise, and endless information about what you should or should not be doing.
Sometimes the kindest thing you can do for yourself is create a little quiet.
Meet One Basic Need
This one sounds almost too simple, but it can make a huge difference. When was the last time you drank water? Have you eaten anything today? Have you been holding your bladder for hours? Have you had a shower?
Sometimes we get so focused on caring for everyone else that our own most basic needs fall to the bottom of the list. Don’t glamorize not taking care of yourself.
Drink a glass of water.
Eat something with protein.
Take a few bites of whatever is easiest.
Wash your face.
Step outside.
Sit down for five minutes.
Your body deserves care, too. Especially in the postpartum season, hydration, nourishment, rest, and physical recovery are not luxuries. They are foundational pieces of caring for yourself while caring for a new baby.
You do not have to solve your entire day. Sometimes meeting one basic need is enough to give you what you need to make it through the next hour.
Choose the Smallest “Next Thing”
Overwhelm often happens when we look at the entire mountain instead of the next step.
Instead of clean the kitchen —> Put the plates in the dishwasher.
Instead of get everyone ready —> Find the shoes.
Instead of tackling all the laundry —> Put one load in the washer.
Instead of organizing the nursery —> Put the diapers back in the basket.
When your brain is overwhelmed, make the next step as small as possible. Then take that step. And then another.
This is especially helpful when you are caring for a baby because there can be so many moving pieces at once. Feeding, pumping, diapers, naps, bottles, appointments, household responsibilities, and your own needs can quickly feel like one giant list.
You do not have to hold the whole list in your head at once. Just ask yourself: “What is the smallest next thing?” Sometimes that is all you need to know.
Take a Moment Before You’ve Earned It
This might be our favorite one. Because somewhere along the way, so many moms have been taught that rest has to be earned. But what if you did not have to earn rest? What if you simply needed it?
Sit in the car for a couple of extra minutes before walking inside.
Let the kids watch a show while you take a breath.
Put the baby somewhere safe and step into the other room for a moment.
Sit on the couch.
Close your eyes.
Drink your coffee while it is still warm.
Take a shower without rushing.
Rest does not have to be a reward for completing your to-do list. Rest is a need. And especially for a new mom, protecting opportunities for rest can be one of the most important forms of care.
This is part of the heart behind what we do at Choose Joy Nursing. When a mother has someone trusted caring for her baby overnight, she has an opportunity to sleep, recover, nourish herself, and wake up feeling a little more like herself.
Because caring for Mom is not an extra. Mom matters, too.
A Last Reminder
Overwhelm is not proof you are failing. It is a reminder that you may need support, rest, nourishment, connection, or simply a little more grace.
Motherhood was never meant to be carried perfectly. It was meant to be carried with support. And sometimes, choosing joy looks less like doing more and more like giving yourself permission to do less.
One breath. One need. One small step.
That is enough for today.
Inspired by Dr. Cassidy Freitas' Instagram post, "7 small steps to take when you feel overwhelmed."
