You Can’t Sleep Train a Baby in Pain
One of the most common questions we hear is: “Why isn’t sleep training working for my baby?” The truth is, no amount of sleep training will be effective if your baby is uncomfortable. Before building healthy sleep habits, it’s important to make sure there isn’t an underlying issue getting in the way of rest. Babies aren’t born “bad sleepers”—when they struggle, it’s often their way of telling us something isn’t right.
At Choose Joy Nursing, we believe there’s no such thing as “just colic.” There’s always a root cause, and when we help families uncover and address it, both baby and parents can finally find the rest they need.
Here are some of the most common reasons discomfort might be disrupting your baby’s sleep:
reflux
Reflux happens when milk or formula flows back into your baby’s throat, causing spit-up, gagging, or general fussiness. Some signs to watch for include back-arching, coughing, unsettled feedings, or discomfort when lying flat.
Ways to help:
Hold baby upright for 20 minutes after feeds
Burp often during and after feeding
Try eliminating dairy/soy from your diet (if breastfeeding)
Ask your pediatrician about medication or tongue/lip tie evaluations
Consider holistic options like chiropractic or craniosacral therapy
teething
Drooling, chewing on hands, and flushed cheeks are all signs teething may be the culprit. While a normal part of development, the discomfort can make settling down difficult.
Ways to help:
Offer a chilled (not frozen) teething ring or washcloth
Massage sore gums gently
For older babies, try cold cucumber slices or a silicone feeder with frozen breastmilk
Use natural teething gels or drops (benzocaine-free)
We’ve linked some of our favorite teething relief items here.
Tummy Troubles and gas
Gas and digestion issues are a top reason babies wake frequently. If your baby pulls their legs up, seems bloated, or cries after feeds, trapped gas might be the reason.
Ways to help:
Try bicycle legs, tummy massage, or a warm bath
Use infant gas drops or probiotics (with pediatrician approval)
Check latch or nipple size to reduce swallowed air
For formula-fed babies: consider a gentle or hypoallergenic formula and an anti-colic bottle
We’ve linked some of our favorite gas relief items here.
Food allergies and sensitivities
Undiagnosed allergies can cause skin rashes, digestive issues, or congestion—all of which disrupt sleep. Common triggers include dairy, soy, wheat, eggs, and nuts.
What to do:
Track symptoms with a food journal
Introduce new foods slowly and watch for reactions
Work with your pediatrician on testing or diet adjustments
diaper rash
Even something as simple as a painful rash can keep your baby up. Give your baby “air time” without a diaper, switch brands if needed, and make sure skin is fully dry before applying ointment.
Why sleep Matters
You are your baby’s coregulator, and taking care of yourself is taking care of your baby. We believe that investing in your rest now is an investment in your baby’s future — giving your whole family the gift of rest, health, and peace.
When parents are able to sleep, they heal faster, think clearer, and feel more confident.
When moms are well-rested, postpartum anxiety and mood disorders are significantly reduced.
When parents are supported and educated, the whole family thrives — not just for a season, but for the long term.
Read more about the importance of sleep in our blog, “6 Effects of Sleep Deprivation on Parents” here.
gentle sleep training that works
Once discomfort is addressed, babies are ready to learn healthy sleep habits. Our approach is gentle, safe, and effective—helping your little one feel secure while learning to fall asleep and stay asleep.
If you’re wondering:
When should I start sleep training? → We can help you establish routines from the first night home from the hospital, setting up strategies that support both your baby’s sleep and your family’s well-being.
Can sleep training harm my baby? → Not when it’s done gently and responsively.
Will my baby cry? → Some protest is normal, but our methods never leave babies alone to “cry it out”.
You Don’t Have to Do This Alone
Every baby is unique, and so is every family. At Choose Joy Nursing, we walk alongside you with support, encouragement, and strategies tailored to your little one’s needs. We offer:
In-person support in Nashville, TN
Virtual coaching for families everywhere
Because when pain is eased and comfort is restored, sleep training becomes not only possible—but peaceful.
