Checking in During the Postpartum Season
If you’re in the postpartum season, let us say this first - you’re doing a really important, really hard thing.
These days can feel full and tender all at once. There may be moments of deep love and sweetness, mixed with exhaustion, tears you didn’t expect, or emotions that don’t always make sense. That doesn’t mean anything is wrong with you. It means you’re human, and you’re in a season that asks a lot.
We often say, “It’s brutal but beautiful.”
And somehow, both can live in the same day.
If you’re feeling sad, anxious, overwhelmed, or dealing with intrusive thoughts, you don’t have to carry that quietly. You deserve support, and you deserve to feel well.
checking in with yourself matters
We’re so good at checking on our babies - counting feeds, tracking sleep, watching every little cue. But checking in with yourself is just as important.
Sometimes the bravest thing you can do is pause and ask:
“How am I really doing today?”
To help make that pause feel simple and safe, we use a postpartum check-in scale. It’s something our nurses use with clients, and we’ve found it to be such a helpful, grounding way to put words (or numbers) to how you’re feeling, especially on days when everything feels foggy.
The Postpartum Check-In Scale
Take a moment and notice where you land today, right now. No judgment. Just honesty.
0 – Not Doing Well
If you are at a 0 and/or having suicidal thoughts or thoughts of harming your child, this is an emergency.
Please call 911 immediately or have your partner or a loved one take you to the hospital.
You are not safe, and you need immediate care. Help is available, and your life - and your child’s life - matter deeply.
1–5 – Struggling / Melancholy But Okay
If you’re at a 5 or below, we strongly encourage you to reach out for professional support right away - before things feel heavier or harder to manage.
Call a counselor, therapist, or psychiatrist and make an appointment as soon as possible.
While it’s ideal to set up postpartum support before birth, it is always okay to reach out afterward. You haven’t missed your chance, and you’re not behind.
6–9 – Doing Fairly Well
You might be okay overall but still tired, emotional, or stretched thin. Keep checking in with yourself often. And if you feel like extra support would help, you don’t have to wait until things get worse to ask for it.
10 – Happy, Grounded, All is Good
We’re so glad you’re here. Keep checking in with yourself - postpartum emotions can ebb and flow, and awareness is a gift.
Wherever you land, you deserve to feel supported, whole, and at peace.
for friends, partners + Loved ONes
If someone you love is in the postpartum season, checking in on them can be one of the kindest things you do.
One simple way to do this is by sending the postpartum scale graphic included above. It gives an easy visual, takes the pressure off explaining everything, and opens the door to honest conversation.
This is the same scale our nurses use with clients because it’s gentle, clear, and effective.
You might say:
“I’m thinking about you — where are you on this scale today?”
“No pressure to explain, I just wanted to check in.”
“I’m here with you, wherever today lands.”
If a loved one shares that they’re struggling, take it seriously and help them find care. Postpartum mental health is not something to push through alone.
A Final Reminder
Motherhood can be incredibly beautiful, and it can also be overwhelming, lonely, and exhausting. Struggling does not take away from your love, your effort, or the kind of parent you are.
If today feels heavy, please reach out.
If today feels good, keep checking in.
And if today feels unbearable, help is urgent and available.
You matter.
Your mental health matters.
And you are never meant to do this alone!
You may also call or text ‘HELP’ to the Postpartum Support International HelpLine at 1-800-944-4773. More resources can be found at postpartum.net.
